Pringlis' Journal

We have lift-off.
heh OK.. finally been persuaded to yield to the dark powers of Live
Journal. I'll probably update it fairly often, but just by copying
emails I send to The Goose (Mailing list my friends and I use to keep in
touch with each other, named after the first (and worst) pub we
regularly attended) and I might even upgrade to paid at some point.

So, uh, let's start with last night. One of the best nights I've been
out on in a while yet one which also sent me into a state of
depression.. which does NOT usually happen for me. I like to think of
myself as a constantly happy and I usually am. The root of the problem
is of course, a woman, but we'll get onto that later.

Friday the 15th of November. The Scene. Glasgow's West End. Pub crawl
with a bunch of Dentistry pupils from Glasgow Uni and their friends. It
was meant to be in the style of the movie fame but I didn't feel like
wearing leggings and tight tops so I decided to go in my Smart Kilt
stylee... kilt, t-shirt and denim jacket with my Timberlands.

First pub was the Exchequer.. Mark and I arrived at about 10 past 7 and
met up with Alex, Annette and Ally. Start off with a pint of lager.
Very very nice women about.. Post Grad Girl has incredible breasts.
Many people in lycra and one guy in a disturbingly well kept New Kids on
the Block T-shirt. Some of Annette's friends come in but not Sarah, the
girl I am currently totally and inescapably into.

Brief pause for explanation of Sarah... I met her at fresher's week a
few months ago. She's one of Annette's flat mates and we went drinking
and clubbing with them a few times. After one of the club's we went
back to their flat.. Mr Clee the Sleaze (the man who once pulled with
the line "I'm too drunk to do the whole chatty up thing so how about we
just go upstairs?") starts chatting up Sarah. At this point I'd only
noted her as a very attractive and interesting girl so I wasn't that
bothered. Anyway Sarah tells Clee that she has a boyfriend so he backs
off. Clee tells Neil this and I believe that she did have a boyfriend.
We go out with them several more nights and Neil realises that Sarah is
probably one of the best looking, most interesting, amusing girls he has
ever met and she just has a sparkle in her eye that makes him want to
jizz. Another few nights and she tells Neil (um.. I've started
referring to myself in the 3rd person. This happens when I'm telling
kinda intimate stuff. Neil is my name in case you didn't know), that
she doesn't actually have a boyfriend. Neil is ecstatic but you must
realise that although Neil gets on well with girls he has two problems..

a) Neil can't read signs. At all... it took me 3 months to realise
that my ex liked me before we started going out.

b) Neil sucks at making THE MOVE. For some reason I just can't bring
myself to lean in and kiss girls.. even when I know they want it. The
only times I've pulled in the last year have been when girls come on to
me. (Yes, I'm surprised too!).

Anyway, I'll get onto her later. (no pun intended)

Next pub was the Living Rooms... get a bottle of beer, sit back chilling
and talking to a few folks including a random called Duncan McSporran
who is wearing a toilet seat with the words Nob of the Night on it and
is carrying a garden gnome. To my joy Sarah comes in and sits down..
start of interesting conversation. Finish beer, hear the rallying cry
of "NEXT PUB".

So the noble drunkards head on to Russel's. Urine break, which is FUN
in a kilt. Get another beer, more witty conversation etc. Sarah is
looking FINE. Those breasts must be liberated.

Walk up the road to the Aragorn.. leaving the girls behind. It's just
me, Alex, Ally and Mark at this point. The rest of the drunkards skip
the Aragorn as it is full of people dressed as Lord of the Rings
characters. Unperturbed we head in. It's the Lord of the Rings
society! Talk briefly to a guy dressed as Frodo and one as Gandalf.
Squeeze our way past numerous elves to the bar. Order 4 cranbery
bacardi breezers (poof drinks I know) and strawpoedo them. To those
uninitated to the ways of the strawpoedo I shall explain.

The problem with trying to down a bottled drink is that after a few
"glugs" it just doesn't come down fast enough due to the air being
sucked out the bottle. The genius solution to this is to get a straw,
fold it over and place it in the bottle. So that the drinking end of
the straw, at the bend is folded parallel to the rest of the straw. You
then keep this end at the corner of your mouth pointing out. This
allows air to enter the bottle as you drink. With this technique it is
possible to down a 330ml bottle in approximately 4 seconds.

Anyway we get cheered on by the LoTR characters and the bar staff, drink
up and head to the next pub.

Next pub is Whistler's Mother. Another toilet break. Double vodka
coke. Have to drink really quickly as everyone is just leaving.

Next up is the basement bar of Tennents. On the way back up the road
we're reunited with Sarah and her "buddies". I do my amusing kilted
puppet dance for her. She loves it. Walk to Tennents. Rip posters off
wall and stick to people's backs. Have a vodka red bull. Introduced to
other random girls who don't really hold my interest.

On to Curler's. Get IDd for the first time of the night. Start with
another vodka coke. Have a wee dance. Another toilet break. Note
someone else is throwing up in the toilets. Lightweight. Another vodka
coke. Another wee dance. Leave.

(Yeah, this is getting repetitive without much point so I'll hurry up to
the fun stuff)

On to Jinty McGinty's. Irish pub. Entirety of party gets turned back
as it's full but Neil realises he knows the bouncers and tells certain
people to hang back (Yes, Sarah of course). Rest of people head on to
Vodka Wodka and get turned away again so head off. I have a pint of
Guiness and chat to Charlie Brown and Magoo.. The two bouncers from
there. Also semi good looking girl wearing a Angel outfit starts trying
to look up my kilt. Finish guiness outside as they have a street
licence.

Head to Vodka Wodka. Turned away cause it's full.

Try and substitute Brel for Vodka Wodka. No luck. Me, Sarah and
Annnette get in but Alex is turned away for a) being too drunk and b)
being dressed like a rampant homosexual. We know the bouncer again but
only as Sean Burke.. one of Milngavie (my home town) resident drug
dealer and thug. Don't argue and head on to QM.

Get searched by a bouncer who has a disturbingly good fell around my
legs up my kilt. Sarah has a good laugh at that. Pay out entry fee and
head upstairs. Sarah falls up the stairs (NEVER EVER got how that's
possible). Neil catches her like a gentleman and carries her up.

Up to Jim's Bar in the QM. Find out the Presse Posse (the other group
of decent guys from my town who often combine with us for magical nights
out) are there celebrating McNicol's birthday. Buy myself and Sarah a
drink. Vodka blackcurrant and lemonade for both. Introduce her to
various people. Sit around, chat, etc.

Two more vodka mixes later (I'm slightly drunk by now :P) and we go down
to dance. Now this is where Neil thinks he's getting stronger signs
from Sarah... she holds his hand as they're walking downstairs. But
she's quite a touchy feely person anyway so I don't think too much of
it. Also recently I've been programmed to not believe that anyone like
her would want me. Yet she must. Cause I'm gorgeous. I'm so confused.
I'm gonna have to get Annette to do some digging for me on the matter.

Anyway this is far too long... so to cut a long story short we dance,
drink more. Fanny about. Sarah is dancing beside Neil all night but
apart from the occasional brush or dance move together I really don't
know what to do. I could gone for it but I'd have to have taken her
somewhere quieter to tell her "stuff" and I didn't really feel confident
enough to do that.

Anyway she leaves at about 1:30 to go home cause she's knackered.

Shortly after in a fit of depression I go get a glass of water and sit
outside. Light up my Prince Edward cigar and sit smoking it on my
lonesome. Manage this for about 3 minutes till Dave Allen comes to talk
to me. Not in the mood but keep polite conversation anyway.

More people come filtering out and come to share my cigar. I oblige.
Eventually work up the energy to start singing Fuck Her Gently but this
time we only got 10 randoms to join in.. last week it was 15. This must
be improved.

Mark comes back from pulling Lee (who has a boyfriend tut tut.). Alex
comes back from whatever strange place he was in. Gregor returns from
pretending to be a tramp. We get a taxi home. I come on IRC. I moan
and bitch. I write 8 emails to my friends including one that could
probably get me arrrested. Ah what the hell...

http://www.lentsite.com/emma/6.jpg -- where the HELL did her breasts
come from? There's http://www.lentsite.com/emma/1.jpg - 8.jpg btw.
She's only 13 but my friend Ian has his eye on her for the future :P
Could probably get to her through Sean (Biggerstaff, Oliver Wood in
Harry Potter) if I see him again but then again it's illegal. I think
Sean might have been out last night but dunno.

Now, I am mostly being hungover.

Anyway that's been my first LJ entry and you probably fell asleep half
way through. I'm rather verbal when it comes to expressing thoughts and
looking back there's a billion things I wanted to say but didn't. You
probably wouldn't care anyway.

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